don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
