Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
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