dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
