Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
