Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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