he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
did you just send me my own nude
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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