First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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