Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
