u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Randomize
