My boss' voice literally gives me gas
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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