You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
