Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
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