You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
