just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
