Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
