I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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