all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I lost the right to judge tonight
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize