Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
