That's intense
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
