wakey wakey hands off snakey
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
