Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
