Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
