Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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