He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
