is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
