I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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