just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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