I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
