I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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