the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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