did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
