Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
