Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
17 year olds will be the death of me.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
