I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
