that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
