the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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