C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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