I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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