I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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