I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
