happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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