she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
