If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
