im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I will pee on everything he values.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
