Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
