I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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