; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Randomize
