i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
