haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
