By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
