And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize