News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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