ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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