goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
