Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
