Ambien. No doubt about it.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Randomize
