I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
