Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
