Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
