i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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