i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
