I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
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